i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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