so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
