He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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