I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
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I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
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If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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