My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
