I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
