She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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