We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
