how can u be prego again
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
