the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
These tits shall not be calmed
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
