i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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