yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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