a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm both gender and math confused
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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