He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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