She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
