so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
