he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
