I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
