We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
