Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize