i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
