In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
