before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
