It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
