Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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