had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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