I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
