In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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