Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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