That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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