Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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