Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
