You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
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I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
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I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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