I puked a lego.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
