i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
