it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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