I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
