I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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