didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
