the condom got lost in my hair
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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