i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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