Pregnant stripper...not hot.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
