you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize