I have demons in me.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
