I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
