bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
