seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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