If that was your dad, he is hot
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Bring me that man meat
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
