its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Screwed.edu
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
