love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Randomize
