OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards