I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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