mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
This is not my ceiling
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.