If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
