so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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