McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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