think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
