The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
