Screwed.edu
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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