can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
