Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
The air was thick with penises
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
