had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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