What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Randomize
