Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Randomize