dude i'm inner monologue high
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
