did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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