I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he fucked my hip out of place.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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