But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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